What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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What sucks?

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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I'm 4 and what is this?

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U mad?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops