How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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What do you get when you cross a train track and a bumpy feild, Further along on your GPS map.

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Do you want to come with me? NO! oh i wanted to cum on your face. Thats god damn gay Nope thats god damn sexy.

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A man gets shot in the balls by a huge swarm of bees HE IS VERY NICE AND FILLED WITH RICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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Type better antijokes above

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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