Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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a banana

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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BWAT

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops