What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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What job did the black man apply for?.. Several, its a downward economy.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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A blonde dies Lololol

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

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there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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