Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Whats white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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