Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops