Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

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Your text.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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