Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

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what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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soccer

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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