Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have altzeimer's, Cheese on toast

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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