Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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Stop being a centipede

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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