Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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CHEEZECAKE

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Your mam is so fat.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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A

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Yes

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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