There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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knock knock whose there? i don't know...

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How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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W.N.B.A.

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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5

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops