Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

thumb_up thumb_down -5

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -53

So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops