A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Why was the black woman poor? Well, she grew up in a wealthy family, but both of her parents died. Her new parents were not very supportive and she began to not care about school. She did not go to college because of this and was not able to get a job. Therefore, she had no money.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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