How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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What did the fish say? Moo

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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