Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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Tim's gay.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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