YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

thumb_up thumb_down -43

42

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Stop me if you heard this one before.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops