How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

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How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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