How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

poo is yummy

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A storm be brewin!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

y u no like me joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

69

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jesus wept.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops