You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What does a nun and a hat have in common? Size

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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Dakota Fanning

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops