I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

A woman comes at the doctor.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

heads up!

A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

NAACP

How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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