What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew. One's a tasty delicious snack and the other one's a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Sam Hengal.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is short and yellow? Most Asians

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hello, I want likes. Press the up arrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -750

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops