How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Caramel Boing.

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Oh no! My life is ruined!

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Do you know what african children do? They die of starvation.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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