A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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2 beavers enter a bar, destroy all the stool legs, and leave.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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