A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An Irishman walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops