You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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An Asian man fails a math test

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Dubstep < Music

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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you know whats funny the letter Q

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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see ya

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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