What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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why did the boy have to go to the dentist he was hit by a brick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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There were two men 1 says "hey stupid" and the other man says "Yeah"

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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