Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Okay, I just really want you to trust me again,

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

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I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

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Ju... Just why?

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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YOU

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's 9+10? 19.

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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- Helen Keller

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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