Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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Feminism.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Yo momma is so ugly, that she has no mirrors in her home to avoid the feeling of disgust and sadness she gets whenever she sees her reflexion

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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