Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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