Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I died shortly after writing this.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

69.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why? Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

blubber vaginass CC

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do u call a long dik gay guy Gay Dickerson

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops