Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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Do you know your videogames? Test your might!: Getal Sear Molid = Metal Gear Solid. Do you get these though? Combatfrogs. Mechapoliceofficer vs The Enders. Outdoor battlers: Second encounter, speedy version. Above Average Luciano Siblings. Area of the Beginners (if you get this one u are epik!) Monkey D0ng (not so epik :P) G-one (pretty good if you get this one too) Lethal Fighting. (LETHAL FIGHTING!!!) Exploder Guy (kudos if you get it) Requirement for velocity (lol) Weeds vs the Frankensteins (decent) So how many did you get? Check the comment section for the answers.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

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is it big enough to have sex in????

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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Why was the black guy convicted of a crime he didnt commit? Because in The American social syste

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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