Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock, Who's there? The cops, your parents are dead and now you are an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

thumb_up thumb_down +14

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops