Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

who hooks up with grade 7's? •Jake Muchnik

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is big, black, and hairy? A coconut.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

thumb_up thumb_down -22

the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +41

how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops