Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like cows, Cows are cool

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops