What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny and frankly, I do not see why people think they are so funny.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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Why couldn't Tommy pick up the bunny? Because the bunny was schizophrenic and Tommy wasn't real.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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