What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? On a fundamental level, it was pursuing evolutionary instincts, perhaps a half-bored interest in food.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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