What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Everyone around him moves away from the grown man talking to his imaginary friend.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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WNBA

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why did the man die? he got shot

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? A family friend paying a visit.

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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