How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

hey

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Is J.P. dumb? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +21

wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is funnier then a man with AIDS? -nearly anything as AIDS is a serious medical condition and could be potentially lethal

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops