(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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