Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

What is 69? A two digit number.

Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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