Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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69

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

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What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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