what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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