A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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Chris Brown can do no wrong. False he acquired several wrongs through his mistreatment of several women.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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