walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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PSN IS UP

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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On a scale of 1 to Osama Bin Laden, how good is your hiding spot? Rhetorical question. Osama Bin Laden is dead now.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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