why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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Christianity.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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