Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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What do black men do in the South? Hang around

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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A black man walks into a bar, and asks the barman for a pint of lager. The barman refuses to serve him because of his race. This causes the black man and any others in the establishment to leave, considering this appalling behaviour.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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