If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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