What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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