Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

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How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Why is this funny? cause it is funny

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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What did the old man say? Im old

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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