Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

Q:a black man walks down the street with alot of light whats happaning he A:is it the parade of light

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

Women's Rights

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...