A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

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someone called a frog a frog

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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French people

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what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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