Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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space is fun

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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say yes will u remember me in a year?yes will u remember me in a month? yes will u remember me in a week?yes will u remember me in a minute?yes will u remember me in a second?yes knock knock whos there u said u will remember me u dick

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What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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Why doesn't the mexican have a job? Grad school is taking up too much of his time.

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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