What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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I went to work today....

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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