My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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69

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they practice.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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