Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

IMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooodfssgihsfdiug

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops