What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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John Cena

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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