What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

knock knock go away ok

When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

What looks like a dick? A penis

How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

Whats the same about Jerry Seinfeld and Adam Sandler They are both comedians

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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