Jewwy Jewstein

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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lol a man is drowning

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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25

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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What do you call a black cop? Officer.

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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