Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the christian says "if you don't believe in god you will go to hell." the atheist replies "if there was a benevolent supreme being, logic dictates that there would be proof of his existence other than a 2,000 year old book." they agree to set aside their petty differences and get on with their lives.

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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