Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

My aunt said slow and steady wins the race, she died in a fire.

What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

Why do jews have big noses? Because the air is free!

How old are you? 20

-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

How old is the old man? Probably how old he is

How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

rarw

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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