Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops